“On The Best Sets Everyone Fell in Love.” An Interview with Director Zia Anger

Interview and Art by Tessa Hallett

“Still I thought the first thing you see should be “joy”.
[Because] I am really happy you are watching.
Happier than you could ever know!”

Zia Anger’s debut feature My First Film, released on MUBI in September of 2024 after debuting at the Copenhagen International Documentary Festival in March, begins and ends with joy. From the first few minutes, which display a message from the director typed onto a computer screen (a motif repeated throughout to great effect), you know that you’re in for a deeply personal and unique experience. Anger began the project as a live presentation: using the word app TextEdit to recount the experience of her titular first film Always All Ways, Anne Marie being rejected from festivals after its stressful and harrowing production in the early 2010s, along with clips from the unreleased film and an interactive component involving iMessage. During the COVID-19 lockdown, she began developing a screenplay inspired by the performance, resulting eventually in its production and release. Despite premiering at a documentary festival, the film is much more than just that. Anger beautifully weaves her own personal narrative into a fictionalised story involving a stand-in for herself, an amateur filmmaker named Vita played by Odessa Young, grappling with relationship issues, rejection, and the ever-relevant topic of abortion (“All you need is a body to create. But what you create, that is up to you,” Vita is told during what is probably the film’s most poignant scene).
The word “meta” is commonly used to describe films like this, and, while certainly true, it seems to transcend that simple definition. It’s beautiful, personal and cathartic work that you have to see to fully be able to understand the pain, struggle, beauty, and joy of it all.

“You will make things from joy, and not despair. Even films that should not be films.”

I was lucky enough to be able to get in touch with Zia Anger via email for an interview about her process, inspiration and the film’s development.

Since the narrative of this started as a live performance piece, when did you begin to envision it as a feature film?
Probably sitting in the theatre one day when I was doing the performance. Maybe that's a little nuts to say, but the excitement of being in a theatre, with people, with this story just felt like something to follow. In many ways the performance was the first draft of this film. I knew if the beats of the performance "worked" then they could be adapted into beats of the film.

You’ve directed music videos for artists like Mitski and Angel Olsen, and Perfume Genius did the score for My First Film. Does music play a big part in influencing your filmmaking process even outside of music videos?
I find music to be very exciting because of how narratively open it can be. A good song tells a story, but I think a great song tells a story and allows the listener to enter it. The songs I like are usually less linear than films. They have a depth created by the music that accompanies the lyrics. Or lyrics that create depth that a monologue could never. They may literally loop back on themselves to the chorus. Or go somewhere else entirely.

The line from the film that has stuck with me the most comes near the end, about making things from joy and not despair. What aspect of filmmaking brings you the most joy?
I really like watching people do the technical parts of filmmaking. Like when an actor misses their mark and a focus puller adjusts in real time. Or a cinematographer moves in an unexpected way because they realize something offscreen is what they want to be looking at. Or when an editor is figuring something out, watching their hands at work setting everything up. The sweat on their brow. How they adjust their posture and present what they have figured out. It's like watching great athletes, who are not only physically great but also emotionally attuned to what is happening. The film's emotions, but also their own emotions, and in conversation with the other emotions in the room and what is written on the page. I am most joyful when watching people do this work, and helping them find whatever it is they are looking for, by answering questions, helping to troubleshoot, or oftentimes just shutting the fuck up and observing.

The film has such a good ensemble led by Odessa Young as essentially a version of yourself. What was the casting process for such a personal role like?
I knew I really liked Odessa, so we sent her the script and she read it. After that we had a meeting. At first, something about her resonated with me. Our postures were the same. She held cigarettes in the way I used to. Of course, most people's postures are the same: bad. Or maybe she was emulating my posture already because now that I think about it she has great posture. Nevertheless it was what that bad posture pointed to. Odessa and I both had similar feelings about making films. We wanted something more positive than what we had been doing all those years. I asked her what was the essence of her favorite sets she had been on, since she had been on many more times than me. She said on the best sets everyone fell in love. I knew she was the one. We went forward with that idea in mind.

Finally, is there any advice you would have for up and coming filmmakers who are looking to make their First Film?
I've learned I don't like advice all that much. But I can say, from my personal experience, that things never work out the way I think they will. I wish I had known that in my 20s. It would have saved me a lot of anguish and anxiety about being a filmmaker. And maybe I wouldn't have even been a filmmaker. Good luck to all who try.

My First Film is now streaming on MUBI.