The Surreal World of Avant-Garde, Melodic “Spelling Bees”

Review by Nawaal Bhuiyan

The words “spelling bee” invoke in most the smell of moist, dingy auditorium carpet, beads of stress sweat dripping down their back, and, of course, the most definite and palpable feeling of dread. When I was told by my dear friend and the event’s publicist, Maggie Caroddo, of “The Spelling Bee of the Century,” I was immediately transported back to my own regional spelling bee days, and the shudder I let out then was purely instinctive. IWant2BeOnTV and Suoni Per Il Popolo’s event, however, was none of those things. Held on the 26th of June at the historic La Sala Rossa venue, most of the event’s premise was intentionally left up to the attendees’ imaginations. I didn’t know what to expect, either; upon entry, I was greeted by high ceilings and the familiar, rich red curtains that always graced the stage, and as I looked back up to admire the chandelier, I was handed a folded program and a glass of cider.

I slid the program into my purse without giving it much more than a cursory once-over. I wanted to maintain the shroud of mystery that had been so carefully crafted by the organizers. I couldn’t help but wonder, though – was this some sort of improvised comedy show? A concert, maybe? Part of me was deliriously convinced, as the clock ticked on and the cider snaked lazily through my bloodstream, that we had all been duped into witnessing a traditional spelling bee after all.

Photo credits: Stephanie Nofz, @sure_shawty on Instagram

Before my musings could reach a truly anxiety-inducing level, the spotlight burst into blinding life and our hosts (and main writers) Alex Apostolidis and Charvel Rappos strutted onto the stage. Dressed in custom, matching, star-studded jumpsuits, à la Team Rocket’s Jessie and James, they riled up the crowd and finally introduced us to our eight (or nine, depending on how you looked at it) spelling bee contestants. Kirby Lees’ ridiculous and over-the-top costuming was a sight to behold as I watched two contestants, who had been fashioned to resemble conjoined twins, struggle to move in their enormous cardboard box shoes, shared bright orange wig, and 4XL button-down. Another looked like the chicest girl you know, donning an electric blue mini dress and sparkly tights, only further complemented by their dark pixie cut. Yet another had the perplexing tomato-red tan, wraparound sunglasses, and camo-print shorts of your whitest friend’s weird MAGA uncle.

Photo credits: Stephanie Nofz, @sure_shawty on Instagram

As each contestant struggled through the words given to them by the hosts, I impatiently waited for the other shoe to drop. It didn’t take long; pixie cut misspelled their ironically inconspicuous word, and instead of hemming and hawing, they revealed themselves as Fraud Perry and launched into song. That’s when it clicked – the spelling bee, while an avant-garde performance in and of itself, served as scaffolding for a series of musical shows that were to take place, in succession, that night. Fraud Perry’s energetic pop persona powerfully commanded the rowdy crowd; as they moaned about ugly, broke men and dreamed of quitting their shitty job, I found myself moving and shouting along.

Photo credits: Stephanie Nofz, @sure_shawty on Instagram

When silence returned to the stage, so did the remaining contestants. As they were given their next word, I noticed quick and quiet movement behind them; the backstage crew were finishing the band equipment set up that they had begun during intermission. La Sala Rossa is famous for their incredible sound system, so I finished my drink and braced myself. A guitar riff, and then –

A wall of sound. Bastard Idol was here. I placed my noise-cancelling AirPods in each ear and danced to the bone-numbing vibrations. I could make out low, grumbling, vocals that would screech, then recede, then scream back into existence; the volume of the instrumental backing was near-overwhelming. The audience moved like water around me, and the beginnings of a moshpit crested to my right, a poised wave seeking release. Fraud Perry’s lilting apéritif hadn’t prepared me for this intense tonal shift, but I welcomed it. In a show as full of surprises as this one – lest we forget the planned-yet-impromptu sing-along to Alphaville’s “Forever Young” that hijacked the room at one point, or the makeshift guillotine that served as punishment for one unlucky contestant, or even the unbelievable spectacle of the plastic baby doll sentenced to death by dunk tank following another contestant’s blunder – little could now faze me. This was an event that had taken into account a variety of tastes, and called forward the local talent to back it.

Photo credits: Stephanie Nofz, @sure_shawty on Instagram

“The Spelling Bee of the Century” continued in this alternating mode; Bastard Idol departed to make way for some more hilarious spelling mishaps, and after yet another elimination, Culvert Corpse took the stage. Also a hardcore set, I took a much-needed smoke break in the muggy rain before venturing back inside.

Soon, Michelle Wang was the last speller standing. Meek and demure, she ended the night with a deserved, slow-and-steady win, and the final band, Laughing, bade us goodbye with their soothing downtempo, indie performance. In this moment of delicious respite, I finally saw the event in its entirety – noise and drama, the best kind, bookended by a sense of calm and security. The air outside felt rife with possibility; I couldn’t stop laughing.

A special thank you is due to the talented performers and organizers, as well as the Conseil des arts de Montréal, the Sustainability Action Fund, Suoni Per Il Popolo, and CUTV’s Grassroots Coverage Fund for their support.

Photo credits: Stephanie Nofz, @sure_shawty on Instagram