lucybychoice

03-07-2026

It's March 7 and I turn 21 today.

A week or two ago I began an entry on how my sadness incorporates a regression into childhood. I eat the same snacks as when I was a kid, when I'm sad. I listen to the same songs, when I'm sad. I call my mom and cower with my stuffed animals, when I'm sad.

I'm not sure what it all means, but today I turn 21. I'm spending it in the backseat of a new friend's truck, on the road between South Carolina and Montreal, listening to Beach House. I just spent a week riding my bike in the Blue Ridge mountains, surrounded by guys whose names I didn't even know a week ago, and now I consider them good friends.

I watched The Breakfast Club for the first time for my film class a few weeks ago, and I feel like Brian when he asks if they will still be friends on Monday. Oh well, maybe that's growing up, you make friends and maybe stay friends for a week, maybe for life, maybe somewhere in between.

How insightful! I've written about growing up and aging before and I don't think my thoughts have evolved much. Except this week I rode my bike all week and didn't run once. I didn't get the urge to. I didn't even bring my running shoes on the trip.

I've been running for ten years and cycling for less than two. Maybe growing up is leaving things behind for something similar but slightly different. Except my bike will return to its habitat in the corner of my room the instant I return to the cold cold Montreal, and I have a brand new pair of running shoes waiting for me to slip into them. Maybe growing up is simply about finding new interests and people to indulge in them with.

Turning 21 means I can buy alcohol in the United States. In fact it's kind of the only significant thing about that birthday. My childhood ended at 18, my teenage years at 20. This year nothing ends, and also nothing begins, except now I can buy alcohol in the United States. I drink very little and also do not spend that much time in the US so this new perk is actually kind of irrelevant. But now I can. Cool.

I think I'm excited about the future. I don't particularly care for my birthday but this year it does not scare me as much. I learned so much about riding bikes this past week and still have so much to learn. Soon I will finish my bachelors degree and will be presented with a plethora of options regarding the next few years of my life. I am in love and so well surrounded—

I think that is my takeaway from this week and this year: I am not scared anymore. I rode 732 kilometers this week, with 14,000m of elevation, in just over 27 hours, and I got to go up mountains and fly down them I was flying I was flying.

This year I am taking flight. Today is March 7 and I am not scared anymore.

lucybychoice